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The best 24 Wine (and drinking) puns you’ll read today

We love a brilliant pun.  We also love a bad one.  Especially when they’re about wine, beer, cocktails, or just drinks in general!  For your reading delectation, we’ve compiled some of our favourite, cringe-inducing puns sure to put a wry smile on your face.

1. What did the grape say when it was crushed?  Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

grapes-to-wine

2. I’ve trained my dog to bring me red wine.

It’s a Bordeaux collie.

dogeleaf

3. Me: “I love you.”
You: “Is that you or the wine talking?”
Me: “It’s me talking to the wine.”

okaaaaay-wine

4. He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious, I said he had no proof.

tyrion-unimpressed-wine

5. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine you’re with.

i-love-wine

6. Sometimes we all need a Riesling to be cheerful.

laugh-wine

7. If you can drink away your hurts, it must have been champagne.

spray-champagne

8 . My friend fell asleep in the bar, so I poured my ale on him to wake him up. It was a brewed awakening.

synchronised-beer

9. The past, present and future were in a bar. It was tense.

oh-wine

10. When Whisky met Cognac at the mixer it was clear their relationship was on the rocks.

whisky-rocks

11. If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

alan-rickman-wine

12. Why is Oloroso so perfect? Because it’s completely flor-less.

thankswine

13. Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

cavillwine

14. They’re filming a new Renee Zellweger movie in Cuba. It’s called Bridget Jones Daiquiri.

happy-bridget-jones

15. Did you hear they’ve translated Harper Lee’s magnum opus into Mexican? It’s called Tequila Mockingbird.

tequila-shots

16. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

whoneedsaglass

17. I decide which wine to drink on a case by case basis.

ohmygod-wine

18. When you get a hangover from wine it’s called the grape depression.

judging-you-wine

19. Learn Wine First Aid! Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.

catwine

20. Four fonts walked into a bar, and the barman said: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve your type in here.”

cersi more wine

21. I just heard on the grapevine that doctors have invented a new grape variety that acts as an anti-diuretic to help with incontinence.
It’s called ‘Pinot More’.

shockedwine

22. Every raisin is a tragic tale of a grape that could have been wine.

grapes-to-raisins

23. My favourite movie? It’s ‘The Rums of Amarone.’

sassywine

24. She only made Gin, but he loved her still.

laughing-wine

Thank you, we’re here all week.  We sourced all our gifs irresponsibly at giphy – go check them out!

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